Diary of a (Not So) Serious Duck Hunter

"Two families, both alike in dignity,

In fair Akitio where we lay our scene..."

As far back as I can remember, the first Saturday in May has been the excuse for an annual pilgrimage down to the farm.  More an excuse for a riotous social occasion than anything else, the opening weekend of the duck hunting season has it's fair share of traditions faithfully adhered to by each participating generation.

This year was one of the least involved I have ever been, largely due to the distraction of sleeping in and discussing plans for an up-coming wedding for which I'm a bridesmaid (my first official role, yay!).

So here's how it panned out.

0500:

• Boys and Girls - all's quiet on the Eastern Front

Running Total

Ducks: 0

Rabbits: 0

Crayfish: 1 – From Friday’s activities

0515:

• Boys - alarm goes off, slip out of bed slightly foggy from indiscriminate wine/whisky self-medication
• Girls - alarm goes off, slightly foggy from indiscriminate wine/whisky self-medication, roll over and go back to sleep

0520:

• Boys - two cups of strong coffee and a piece of toast, collect guns and ammo, hit the track on the motorbike
• Girls - activity level zero

0700:

• Boys - back to the house for breakfast, pick up the Senior Boys, off to stalk more dams (and a motorbike tour of the farm)
• Girls - activity level zero

Running Total

Ducks: 1

Rabbits: 0

Crayfish: 1

0900:

• Boys - motorbike tour of the farm, stalk a few dams
• Girls - emerge from bed, relaxed reading in front of the fire wrapped in a duvet

1100:

• Boys - still out the back
• Girls - breakfast like kings: poached egg on toast with grilled tomato, stewed rhubarb, feijoa and apple with yoghurt on Mum's muesli, good strong coffee

Running Total

Ducks: 3

Rabbits: 0

Crayfish: 1

1200:

• Boys - still out the back
• Girls - more girls arrive with two bottles of bubbles (Opening Day ritual stretching back many years)

1400:

• Boys - Covered in mud, dusty wind-blown hair sticking up like Sonic the Hedgehog.  Return to the house to check on the girls before heading back out
• Girls - walk down to the beach for some fresh air and a stretch of the legs

Running Total

Ducks: 5

Rabbits: 0

Crayfish: 1

Boys - covered in mud

Girls - walk along the beach



1600:

• Boys - out the back sitting on the edge of a dam waiting for ducks to fly in for the evening
• Girls - Must be time for a chardonnay surely?

1900:

• Boys - spotlighting for rabbits on the way home
• Girls - full relaxation mode, vino in hand

2000:

• Boys and Girls reunite for dinner

Grand Total

Ducks: 7

Rabbits: 8

Crayfish: 1

But to be honest the grand total has absolutely no bearing on the degree of success of the weekend.

I'm looking forward to next year already!



Home, sweet home